Watch out for the other guy!
Proceed with caution! Be careful out there! Don't go too fast and be sure you are prepared for the worst!
Do all of us really follow this advice? We have had some crazy weather in NC the past two weeks. Snow, ice, freezing rain, sleet, frigid temps, etc. has led us all to face school closings, work delays, and if you are one of the "unlucky" ones, you are dealing with a wrecked car. I put "unlucky" in quotes because you have choices about going out in the bad weather. Yes, some people are essential, or you have to go in because you will be fired, or if you don't work, you don't get paid. If you are injured or dead, same result!
Many people probably have made fun of some of my decisions to not take a chance driving even though I grew up in Indiana and have driven in many snow storms, and in a sports car! However, I trusted the roads would be cleared and the other guy driving would have the same sense of awe and caution. Not so much here in NC and unlike the North, black ice is no match for anyone. Even those who are expert drivers, including the mom in our community that was a race car driver, can do nothing when black ice exists.
I choose not to take my life or my family's or my neighbor's for granted. I plan ahead because there is no one else looking our for me in these conditions. Or is there?
When it comes to our faith life, we all need to look our for the other guy. Love thy neighbor as you love yourself. I was able to clear my driveway with the help of my kids and my dad. We could then offer to clear the driveways of our elderly neighbors.
But what I appreciate most was the offer from friends to get Sam from a field trip because it may have been treacherous to get to the school. And they don't even have a student at the school anymore! Yes, they were looking out for the other guy....me! Look our for the other guys in your life today!
Love to all,
Teresa
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Monday, February 16, 2015
Love today.
It is two days after Valentine's Day and many of you may be feeling the hangover of a day crammed with food, chocolate, roses and love from your special person. I have to say instead of that overdone feeling, I am feeling very inspired.
Although my one special person is no longer with us on earth, his spirit is with us always. However, there is love in my life. I sent messages to those close to me. My parents came through with their heart shaped Whitman boxes (love you!), even having an extra one for Katie's little friend that was over for a play date. Many friends sent love messages for the day and best of all, close friends called to arrange a day in the mountains for some tubing in the frigid winter weather. It was a blast (literally) yesterday!
As I write this morning, my dad has taken my car to the tire store to get new tires and then is getting it washed after the day trip yesterday in the snow and ice. Imagine a black car that now looks "frosted" with the salt, ice and brine from the road. That act of kindness and love makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Those are the things I normally have to do by myself as a solo parent and master of my universe. Having someone do these mundane but necessary errands means so much. I love you dad very much!
Many times we over look the little things that bring love to our lives. Giving of our own hearts is a great way to start. Tell someone today that you love them. Every day can be Valentine's Day!
Love to you all,
Teresa
It is two days after Valentine's Day and many of you may be feeling the hangover of a day crammed with food, chocolate, roses and love from your special person. I have to say instead of that overdone feeling, I am feeling very inspired.
Although my one special person is no longer with us on earth, his spirit is with us always. However, there is love in my life. I sent messages to those close to me. My parents came through with their heart shaped Whitman boxes (love you!), even having an extra one for Katie's little friend that was over for a play date. Many friends sent love messages for the day and best of all, close friends called to arrange a day in the mountains for some tubing in the frigid winter weather. It was a blast (literally) yesterday!
As I write this morning, my dad has taken my car to the tire store to get new tires and then is getting it washed after the day trip yesterday in the snow and ice. Imagine a black car that now looks "frosted" with the salt, ice and brine from the road. That act of kindness and love makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Those are the things I normally have to do by myself as a solo parent and master of my universe. Having someone do these mundane but necessary errands means so much. I love you dad very much!
Many times we over look the little things that bring love to our lives. Giving of our own hearts is a great way to start. Tell someone today that you love them. Every day can be Valentine's Day!
Love to you all,
Teresa
Monday, January 19, 2015
Living Without
What are the things you want most in life but feel you are living without? I overhear people talk about wanting that new designer purse, buying the latest alternative fuel sports car (costing over $100,000), or taking that fabulous vacation with the family. What is it that you cannot live without? What would make your life so complete that happiness and bliss are with you all the time?
I am living without the one person that I have loved the most in my life. Yes, I love my children and that love cannot be matched. Even though I do not have the love of my life, I do not live without love. I am so blessed to have support in my life of my children, my family, my community and mostly my friends. I have to thank those that are always with me to listen to my whining when I feel I lack something. I thank those that love me with all my warts, bad habits, and short temper. I thank the friend that moved my old printer from the third floor to my van. I thank the friend that bought me a ticket to the movies because I was running late. I thank the friends that sat with me after surgery to be sure I would be OK. I am most thankful for those ladies that walk with me and talk with me on a weekly basis. It is great for the body and the soul. And that one special friend that helped me understand that I have this love in my life because I am sharing that love first.
I realized this past week that we have passed the mark where my youngest daughter, Katie, has now lived more of her life without her father than the time with him. It has been five and half years and Katie was five years and five months old when Peter died. That realization impacts me more than it does her because she only knows this life. My oldest child, Emma, said recently something that helped me realize how the kids view this loss. She said, "It is not that I miss having Daddy not being a part of my life now, but that I feel bad that he is the one missing out." It was such an insightful and smart thing for her to say.
A few years ago, I helped facilitate a book study at church, and asked a very important question at one session as we were discussing the death of my husband and my best friend. "Think of the worst thing that can happen in your life." As I looked around I could see that each person was thinking of their worst nightmare. I know they were envisioning the loss of their spouse or a child. But what I said next had the most impact, "Now imagine you have lost your faith!"
What are the things you want most in life but feel you are living without? I overhear people talk about wanting that new designer purse, buying the latest alternative fuel sports car (costing over $100,000), or taking that fabulous vacation with the family. What is it that you cannot live without? What would make your life so complete that happiness and bliss are with you all the time?
I am living without the one person that I have loved the most in my life. Yes, I love my children and that love cannot be matched. Even though I do not have the love of my life, I do not live without love. I am so blessed to have support in my life of my children, my family, my community and mostly my friends. I have to thank those that are always with me to listen to my whining when I feel I lack something. I thank those that love me with all my warts, bad habits, and short temper. I thank the friend that moved my old printer from the third floor to my van. I thank the friend that bought me a ticket to the movies because I was running late. I thank the friends that sat with me after surgery to be sure I would be OK. I am most thankful for those ladies that walk with me and talk with me on a weekly basis. It is great for the body and the soul. And that one special friend that helped me understand that I have this love in my life because I am sharing that love first.
I realized this past week that we have passed the mark where my youngest daughter, Katie, has now lived more of her life without her father than the time with him. It has been five and half years and Katie was five years and five months old when Peter died. That realization impacts me more than it does her because she only knows this life. My oldest child, Emma, said recently something that helped me realize how the kids view this loss. She said, "It is not that I miss having Daddy not being a part of my life now, but that I feel bad that he is the one missing out." It was such an insightful and smart thing for her to say.
A few years ago, I helped facilitate a book study at church, and asked a very important question at one session as we were discussing the death of my husband and my best friend. "Think of the worst thing that can happen in your life." As I looked around I could see that each person was thinking of their worst nightmare. I know they were envisioning the loss of their spouse or a child. But what I said next had the most impact, "Now imagine you have lost your faith!"
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Resolution.
1. The act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc. The act of resolving something
2. An answer or solution to something
3. The ability of a device to show an image clearly and with a lot of detail
Many of us make New Year's resolutions at this time each year. Do we stick with what we say we want to change? Most choose health related actions like losing weight, starting a new workout program, or eating a diet rich in nutrients and consuming less alcohol, sugar and fast food. I love to hear of those that choose more cerebral changes like reading more books and watching less television, spending more quality time with family, especially children and of course my favorite, cursing less. This one is high on my list!
But what about making a resolution to focus on our spiritual life? I live this one each day and I am always looking for ways to keep Christ centered in my life and in turn the lives of those around me. There are several things I do to keep this in my daily actions. I read a devotion each morning and night (a simple app you can add to your phone). I pray often, especially for those that request prayers from our church prayer group, Partners In Prayer, which I facilitate. (If you are interested in being added to this daily prayer group, email me at pip@stmcary.org.) Contemporary Christian music plays in my car often as my favorite XM channel is The Message, channel 63. I also listen carefully to the voices around me that offer a glimpse of Christ in our midst. What we say and do can bring faith to those who have none.
Making these resolutions can seem daunting when we look at the huge chunk of time such as a deadline or a goal. My choice this year is to see Christ more clearly in my life each day. Day by day.
And you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWQEUzOACm4
1. The act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc. The act of resolving something
2. An answer or solution to something
3. The ability of a device to show an image clearly and with a lot of detail
Many of us make New Year's resolutions at this time each year. Do we stick with what we say we want to change? Most choose health related actions like losing weight, starting a new workout program, or eating a diet rich in nutrients and consuming less alcohol, sugar and fast food. I love to hear of those that choose more cerebral changes like reading more books and watching less television, spending more quality time with family, especially children and of course my favorite, cursing less. This one is high on my list!
But what about making a resolution to focus on our spiritual life? I live this one each day and I am always looking for ways to keep Christ centered in my life and in turn the lives of those around me. There are several things I do to keep this in my daily actions. I read a devotion each morning and night (a simple app you can add to your phone). I pray often, especially for those that request prayers from our church prayer group, Partners In Prayer, which I facilitate. (If you are interested in being added to this daily prayer group, email me at pip@stmcary.org.) Contemporary Christian music plays in my car often as my favorite XM channel is The Message, channel 63. I also listen carefully to the voices around me that offer a glimpse of Christ in our midst. What we say and do can bring faith to those who have none.
Making these resolutions can seem daunting when we look at the huge chunk of time such as a deadline or a goal. My choice this year is to see Christ more clearly in my life each day. Day by day.
And you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWQEUzOACm4
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Crying in the shower...
It is such a relief to be able to just let it all go when you are showering. No one can hear if you are sobbing, sniffing, or just wailing with sorrow. It is so convenient too that the tears and the snot just run down the drain!
It has been many months since I had the courage to write anything on my blog. Not that I haven't had anything to say, but I have had a time of a creative desert. My life got mired with the detail of changing the kid's diet, and the rest of the family's diet, for celiac disease. Going gluten free is much easier these days, but still very expensive. And what the experts don't talk about is the emotional and psychological impact that the disease can have. Even though it is just Emma and Sam that need to go gluten free, nut free and dairy free, everyone in the family has been impacted. At any given day there have been battles over food and that is last thing I expected in my life. Another reason for crying in the shower.
My frustrations in life got the better of me and I made the decision in February that because I could not change any of the situations in my life, I would need to change. And so I took on the task of appreciating every day. It is not easy to get up every day and say, "This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it." It is easy to say it but not always easy to live it. But it is just like practicing your faith. Each day can be a stepping stone to building that faith muscle and in turn that ability to find joy even in the most trying situations.
With the holidays approaching it is tricky to navigate the balance of Christmas and Christ. Peter loved Christmas and all of the trappings of decorations and gifts. I was always the Scrooge, not wanting to celebrate the material side of Christmas but keeping our focus on Christ. But I find now that going through the motions of the traditions keeps Peter's Christmas enthusiasm alive and our Christmas joy will be what we make of it.
As many of you will also experience your own roller coaster of emotions this holiday due to the loss of someone you love, the loss of a job, or just the desert of your faith journey, know that as a baby was born to change our world, He can change yours too.
Love,
Teresa
It is such a relief to be able to just let it all go when you are showering. No one can hear if you are sobbing, sniffing, or just wailing with sorrow. It is so convenient too that the tears and the snot just run down the drain!
It has been many months since I had the courage to write anything on my blog. Not that I haven't had anything to say, but I have had a time of a creative desert. My life got mired with the detail of changing the kid's diet, and the rest of the family's diet, for celiac disease. Going gluten free is much easier these days, but still very expensive. And what the experts don't talk about is the emotional and psychological impact that the disease can have. Even though it is just Emma and Sam that need to go gluten free, nut free and dairy free, everyone in the family has been impacted. At any given day there have been battles over food and that is last thing I expected in my life. Another reason for crying in the shower.
My frustrations in life got the better of me and I made the decision in February that because I could not change any of the situations in my life, I would need to change. And so I took on the task of appreciating every day. It is not easy to get up every day and say, "This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it." It is easy to say it but not always easy to live it. But it is just like practicing your faith. Each day can be a stepping stone to building that faith muscle and in turn that ability to find joy even in the most trying situations.
With the holidays approaching it is tricky to navigate the balance of Christmas and Christ. Peter loved Christmas and all of the trappings of decorations and gifts. I was always the Scrooge, not wanting to celebrate the material side of Christmas but keeping our focus on Christ. But I find now that going through the motions of the traditions keeps Peter's Christmas enthusiasm alive and our Christmas joy will be what we make of it.
As many of you will also experience your own roller coaster of emotions this holiday due to the loss of someone you love, the loss of a job, or just the desert of your faith journey, know that as a baby was born to change our world, He can change yours too.
Love,
Teresa
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Run Away.
There are so many times in my journey of caring for my husband during his battle with pancreatic cancer and then the devastating reality of facing life without him, that I have wanted to run away. Where would I go? What would I do? How would my kids react? Start over? Clean slate?
I remember, and most of you will have a similar story, of a time when I was about 8. I was mad at my mom but I couldn't tell you why. I remember going to my room and packing a few things in my kerchief and tying it to a stick. I must have gotten the idea from an old "Little Rascals" episode. We only had four channels back then and that was possible because of the 50 foot antenna attached to the back of the house. We lived about 1/1/2 miles outside a very small town in Indiana. Corn and bean fields surrounded our property and cows were left to graze in the open field beyond our back fence. I had the perfect get away plan. But how would I let my mom know that I was mad, intended to run away, but still have her attention to notice I was gone and beg me to come home?
Once Peter died, there would be no one to beg me to come back if I decided to "run away". As adults we make our choices and people respect our decisions. But as I have formulated plans to sell it all and move to a remote village in Belize, I realize my decisions affect so many other people. It was the same when Peter was sick. Sometime the stress, hopelessness and despair of our situation would bring me to the point of saying out loud, "I see why people leave in this situation." No one should have to go through this hell. But we both gracefully and faithfully took the journey together for our kids, families, and the legacy of what the future would be for us. And now I walk that journey alone.
Running away is never the answer unless it is to save yourself from certain peril. But running to something is an appealing thought. When we are faced with horrible or even mildly annoying situations, we always have the choice to run to something new and leave the past behind as a memory. I have not chosen my something new yet but I definitely like the idea of exploring my options.
Peace and love for a happy, healthy and prosperous year. Follow me as I explore what will be next.
Love,
Teresa
There are so many times in my journey of caring for my husband during his battle with pancreatic cancer and then the devastating reality of facing life without him, that I have wanted to run away. Where would I go? What would I do? How would my kids react? Start over? Clean slate?
I remember, and most of you will have a similar story, of a time when I was about 8. I was mad at my mom but I couldn't tell you why. I remember going to my room and packing a few things in my kerchief and tying it to a stick. I must have gotten the idea from an old "Little Rascals" episode. We only had four channels back then and that was possible because of the 50 foot antenna attached to the back of the house. We lived about 1/1/2 miles outside a very small town in Indiana. Corn and bean fields surrounded our property and cows were left to graze in the open field beyond our back fence. I had the perfect get away plan. But how would I let my mom know that I was mad, intended to run away, but still have her attention to notice I was gone and beg me to come home?
Once Peter died, there would be no one to beg me to come back if I decided to "run away". As adults we make our choices and people respect our decisions. But as I have formulated plans to sell it all and move to a remote village in Belize, I realize my decisions affect so many other people. It was the same when Peter was sick. Sometime the stress, hopelessness and despair of our situation would bring me to the point of saying out loud, "I see why people leave in this situation." No one should have to go through this hell. But we both gracefully and faithfully took the journey together for our kids, families, and the legacy of what the future would be for us. And now I walk that journey alone.
Running away is never the answer unless it is to save yourself from certain peril. But running to something is an appealing thought. When we are faced with horrible or even mildly annoying situations, we always have the choice to run to something new and leave the past behind as a memory. I have not chosen my something new yet but I definitely like the idea of exploring my options.
Peace and love for a happy, healthy and prosperous year. Follow me as I explore what will be next.
Love,
Teresa
Friday, December 6, 2013
An Act of Love.
Over the Thanksgiving Holiday, I took the kids to see "Frozen", the new Disney animated movie. We had been waiting for the release date and thoroughly enjoyed the movie and the experience of seeing a feature film with a large crowd. It was a richer experience to hear other's responses and reactions to the movie. It is rare that we go to the movies, because even with the coupons I had, the whole evening cost over $40 for the four of us.
The part that struck me about this movie was I thought it would be the same Princess and Prince Charming story as it started to unfold. However, at the end, just as we thought the act of love that would solve the issue would be "True love's kiss", there was a different twist. It was the sisters' love that saved them in the end. I was so heartened because I am so concerned having girls that they will fall into that trap of thinking they need a man in their lives to "save" or "rescue" them.
The flip side of that concept is that I realize as a single parent, I am not able to show my children the loving, cooperative, and supportive situation that a married couple creates in the family. How will my children know what marriage is like? They are surrounded by other people that are married, but it is not the same knowing and understanding that can come from living with it every day. What example am I showing my children by being single? A strong faithful servant of God? A frazzled working parent trying to juggle work, household chores, volunteering, aging parents, and kids' activities? A lonely woman looking for that "rescue"? I know they have had the vision of all three scenarios because life is never the same in my house.
What I do hope I can do is share what my marriage was like by showing videos, looking at pictures and retelling the stories of our lives. I waited a long time to get married because I wasn't waiting for Prince Charming. I was waiting for the right person to enter my life that I could truly love, share similar interests and build a life, family and future. Now that he is gone, my future is up to me.
The possibilities are wide open. And I only hope I can be the Act of Love for my children. That is the example I want to set for them. Then they can be the Act of Love for someone else in their life.
Peace and love,
Teresa
Over the Thanksgiving Holiday, I took the kids to see "Frozen", the new Disney animated movie. We had been waiting for the release date and thoroughly enjoyed the movie and the experience of seeing a feature film with a large crowd. It was a richer experience to hear other's responses and reactions to the movie. It is rare that we go to the movies, because even with the coupons I had, the whole evening cost over $40 for the four of us.
The part that struck me about this movie was I thought it would be the same Princess and Prince Charming story as it started to unfold. However, at the end, just as we thought the act of love that would solve the issue would be "True love's kiss", there was a different twist. It was the sisters' love that saved them in the end. I was so heartened because I am so concerned having girls that they will fall into that trap of thinking they need a man in their lives to "save" or "rescue" them.
The flip side of that concept is that I realize as a single parent, I am not able to show my children the loving, cooperative, and supportive situation that a married couple creates in the family. How will my children know what marriage is like? They are surrounded by other people that are married, but it is not the same knowing and understanding that can come from living with it every day. What example am I showing my children by being single? A strong faithful servant of God? A frazzled working parent trying to juggle work, household chores, volunteering, aging parents, and kids' activities? A lonely woman looking for that "rescue"? I know they have had the vision of all three scenarios because life is never the same in my house.
What I do hope I can do is share what my marriage was like by showing videos, looking at pictures and retelling the stories of our lives. I waited a long time to get married because I wasn't waiting for Prince Charming. I was waiting for the right person to enter my life that I could truly love, share similar interests and build a life, family and future. Now that he is gone, my future is up to me.
The possibilities are wide open. And I only hope I can be the Act of Love for my children. That is the example I want to set for them. Then they can be the Act of Love for someone else in their life.
Peace and love,
Teresa
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Pairing Off
Happy Thanksgiving to all today! As it has been in the past, I feel very alone on a holiday and this time I was so surprised that I started feeling that loneliness Tuesday. I stopped at Peter's stone after school mass because I always do. The students and teachers were filing by me and some stopped to say a prayer with me. I had thought throughout mass how this would be the fifth Thanksgiving without Peter. That feeling hit me so hard and I have felt stuck since then. I kept functioning at a minimum because I had work to finish, laundry, grocery shopping, writing and editing to do, crème brulee to make, and the Thanksgiving meal to plan and prepare (all gluten-free!). But I did take a lot of hours to just lay in my bed, with that nauseous feeling and I wished that I were not alone.
The world expects everyone to pair off. Since the days of Adam and Eve and Noah's ark, life goes on by two. So when you are alone, especially at the holidays, that lack of a partner stings even more. I was single for so many years of my life before I met Peter and we had a family of our own. I was so lucky to have a family to go to for every holiday. And we always invited extended family and friends that didn't have a place to go. Some great memories I have of Thanksgiving were those spent with my grandparents and we used Helen's dishes today. Such a sweet thought that Emma wanted to use those today. I also have great memories of Thanksgiving with Peter and my favorite was when we spent the holiday at Disney World. We had a fabulous meal, prepared by someone else, and the weather was so great we ate our meal outdoors in shorts!
It has been a deja vu experience lately being single when I have been out with friends. I had dinner recently with two couples and I was the fifth wheel. I did not mind that at all but what was evident is how the world views this phenomenon of everyone being a "pair". All five of us were finally seated and the waiter came up to us and said, "Are we waiting on another one?" I wanted to say, "We will be waiting for eternity!" I know there are a lot of people that do not have the perfect pairing and would like their situation to be different. But we each have to reconcile what our life looks like and figure out how to navigate what will happen next.
I am sure there will be many holidays yet to face alone and maybe eventually I won't feel so alone. It will get easier or God will bless me with a new pairing?
Love to all,
Teresa
Happy Thanksgiving to all today! As it has been in the past, I feel very alone on a holiday and this time I was so surprised that I started feeling that loneliness Tuesday. I stopped at Peter's stone after school mass because I always do. The students and teachers were filing by me and some stopped to say a prayer with me. I had thought throughout mass how this would be the fifth Thanksgiving without Peter. That feeling hit me so hard and I have felt stuck since then. I kept functioning at a minimum because I had work to finish, laundry, grocery shopping, writing and editing to do, crème brulee to make, and the Thanksgiving meal to plan and prepare (all gluten-free!). But I did take a lot of hours to just lay in my bed, with that nauseous feeling and I wished that I were not alone.
The world expects everyone to pair off. Since the days of Adam and Eve and Noah's ark, life goes on by two. So when you are alone, especially at the holidays, that lack of a partner stings even more. I was single for so many years of my life before I met Peter and we had a family of our own. I was so lucky to have a family to go to for every holiday. And we always invited extended family and friends that didn't have a place to go. Some great memories I have of Thanksgiving were those spent with my grandparents and we used Helen's dishes today. Such a sweet thought that Emma wanted to use those today. I also have great memories of Thanksgiving with Peter and my favorite was when we spent the holiday at Disney World. We had a fabulous meal, prepared by someone else, and the weather was so great we ate our meal outdoors in shorts!
It has been a deja vu experience lately being single when I have been out with friends. I had dinner recently with two couples and I was the fifth wheel. I did not mind that at all but what was evident is how the world views this phenomenon of everyone being a "pair". All five of us were finally seated and the waiter came up to us and said, "Are we waiting on another one?" I wanted to say, "We will be waiting for eternity!" I know there are a lot of people that do not have the perfect pairing and would like their situation to be different. But we each have to reconcile what our life looks like and figure out how to navigate what will happen next.
I am sure there will be many holidays yet to face alone and maybe eventually I won't feel so alone. It will get easier or God will bless me with a new pairing?
Love to all,
Teresa
Saturday, November 23, 2013
The F word.
"We do not use the F word in this house!", I said emphatically, stressing each word. It's not what you think. It happened at dinner the other night that Sam said, "Fat." It is just as bad as the curse word I know you all had in mind. Depending on how it is said, "Fat" can be hurtful or playful. The discussion was a rehash of an exchange between Sam and Emma a few days prior. He called Emma fat. I am sure it was in retaliation for something she said or did. You can understand the sibling rivalry that exists between these two, especially because they are so close in age. I know my sister and I had epic fights, including hitting, scratching and pulling of hair. And because my nickname as a toddler was Tubby Teresa, "Fat" was a word I heard a lot in my life. (Husky was another one because I was so muscular, but we are concentrating on F words).
I wanted to make it clear that we will not use that F word. The reaction from each family member was very different. Emma was snippy in her telling of the exchange. Sam was sorry he had resorted to such a low blow. Katie was oblivious, as she is on many topics because she is busy reading a book. Dad made no comment, but mom's reaction was the one I did not want to perpetuate. She said, "You can call me fat because I am!" Labels are given to so many of us and those are carried in our psyche our whole lives. So let's think of more positive labels.
Better F Words.
Family - those people we love always, even when we may not like them all the time.
Friends - people we hold dear to our hearts for being there through thick and thin.
Fling - recapture that feeling you had with your spouse when you first fell in love. Or if you are single do something for yourself exceptionally decadent (mine is dark chocolate with caramel and sea salt!)
Fabulous - just like the gluten-free waffles I made this morning because I took the time to beat the egg whites to soft peaks and folded them into the batter.
Fudge - enough said!
Fun - keep the laughter in your life. It really helps during the rough times.
Forever - what we can look forward to in our life everlasting.
Father - God, my Father blessing me every day.
Faith - something we can all keep in mind as our daily lives unfold, positive or negative.
Think of your own F words that can be positive and uplifting.
Peace and Love,
Teresa
"We do not use the F word in this house!", I said emphatically, stressing each word. It's not what you think. It happened at dinner the other night that Sam said, "Fat." It is just as bad as the curse word I know you all had in mind. Depending on how it is said, "Fat" can be hurtful or playful. The discussion was a rehash of an exchange between Sam and Emma a few days prior. He called Emma fat. I am sure it was in retaliation for something she said or did. You can understand the sibling rivalry that exists between these two, especially because they are so close in age. I know my sister and I had epic fights, including hitting, scratching and pulling of hair. And because my nickname as a toddler was Tubby Teresa, "Fat" was a word I heard a lot in my life. (Husky was another one because I was so muscular, but we are concentrating on F words).
I wanted to make it clear that we will not use that F word. The reaction from each family member was very different. Emma was snippy in her telling of the exchange. Sam was sorry he had resorted to such a low blow. Katie was oblivious, as she is on many topics because she is busy reading a book. Dad made no comment, but mom's reaction was the one I did not want to perpetuate. She said, "You can call me fat because I am!" Labels are given to so many of us and those are carried in our psyche our whole lives. So let's think of more positive labels.
Better F Words.
Family - those people we love always, even when we may not like them all the time.
Friends - people we hold dear to our hearts for being there through thick and thin.
Fling - recapture that feeling you had with your spouse when you first fell in love. Or if you are single do something for yourself exceptionally decadent (mine is dark chocolate with caramel and sea salt!)
Fabulous - just like the gluten-free waffles I made this morning because I took the time to beat the egg whites to soft peaks and folded them into the batter.
Fudge - enough said!
Fun - keep the laughter in your life. It really helps during the rough times.
Forever - what we can look forward to in our life everlasting.
Father - God, my Father blessing me every day.
Faith - something we can all keep in mind as our daily lives unfold, positive or negative.
Think of your own F words that can be positive and uplifting.
Peace and Love,
Teresa
Thursday, November 21, 2013
The Widow Singer!
In my younger days, age 17-30, I was known as The Wedding Singer. I must have sung at 100 weddings during those years. Some of them were local and sometimes I traveled to other states to sing at a friend's wedding or even a distant relative of a friend who heard I could sing and help make their day special with music.
Lately, that name has changed to The Widow Singer. I have done a couple of weddings this year, but mostly I have been singing at funerals. I started singing with the Resurrection choir soon after Peter died. It was something that so touched me to have the choir sing at Peter's funeral, that I wanted to share my gift, God's gift, with others who may be experiencing the loss that I had felt.
I sang at a funeral yesterday. It was to honor a parishioner, 81 years old, and so many of his family and friends came to the mass. Father Ryan Elder gave a great homily and the music the family had chosen was comforting and beautiful. The Resurrection Choir was strong in numbers yesterday and the sound was magical. "Amazing Grace", "The Lord is My Light and My Salvation", and "How Great Thou Art". It was requested that the "Ave Maria" be sung at the Preparation of Gifts. I was asked by Diane Williams to be the cantor for this funeral. I had not sung the "Ave Maria" in over 20 years in public. It just isn't the same hearing it in the shower! I prayed a prayer of strength that God would be with me and lead me in this song of praise to Mary. I stood to sing and the Spirit filled me and washed over me as I began the song. I was swept away in the words and the music and beauty I could feel in my heart. I knew it would be pleasing for the family to hear this special song. I was so moved, I started to weep as I sat down.
Earlier that day I had prayed the Rosary with the two eighth grade religion classes as part of our volunteer work through Partners In Prayer. I realized after I had sung the "Ave Maria" that I had already prayed this prayer over 100 times that morning before the funeral!
The mass was moving and because the deceased had been in the Navy, they had a special ceremony at the interment at the columbarium. Three Navy Reserve officers were on hand to play "Taps" and gave the folded American Flag to the widow. Afterward, I thanked the officers for their service. The one that had played "Taps" asked me if I was the singer. I said, "Yes." He put down his instrument and picked me up in a great big hug, he was so moved by my voice.
I am so fortunate so share God's gift so often in my life. It brings me joy and humbles me each time that there is something greater than me to share. Go share your gifts today.
Peace and love,
Teresa
In my younger days, age 17-30, I was known as The Wedding Singer. I must have sung at 100 weddings during those years. Some of them were local and sometimes I traveled to other states to sing at a friend's wedding or even a distant relative of a friend who heard I could sing and help make their day special with music.
Lately, that name has changed to The Widow Singer. I have done a couple of weddings this year, but mostly I have been singing at funerals. I started singing with the Resurrection choir soon after Peter died. It was something that so touched me to have the choir sing at Peter's funeral, that I wanted to share my gift, God's gift, with others who may be experiencing the loss that I had felt.
I sang at a funeral yesterday. It was to honor a parishioner, 81 years old, and so many of his family and friends came to the mass. Father Ryan Elder gave a great homily and the music the family had chosen was comforting and beautiful. The Resurrection Choir was strong in numbers yesterday and the sound was magical. "Amazing Grace", "The Lord is My Light and My Salvation", and "How Great Thou Art". It was requested that the "Ave Maria" be sung at the Preparation of Gifts. I was asked by Diane Williams to be the cantor for this funeral. I had not sung the "Ave Maria" in over 20 years in public. It just isn't the same hearing it in the shower! I prayed a prayer of strength that God would be with me and lead me in this song of praise to Mary. I stood to sing and the Spirit filled me and washed over me as I began the song. I was swept away in the words and the music and beauty I could feel in my heart. I knew it would be pleasing for the family to hear this special song. I was so moved, I started to weep as I sat down.
Earlier that day I had prayed the Rosary with the two eighth grade religion classes as part of our volunteer work through Partners In Prayer. I realized after I had sung the "Ave Maria" that I had already prayed this prayer over 100 times that morning before the funeral!
The mass was moving and because the deceased had been in the Navy, they had a special ceremony at the interment at the columbarium. Three Navy Reserve officers were on hand to play "Taps" and gave the folded American Flag to the widow. Afterward, I thanked the officers for their service. The one that had played "Taps" asked me if I was the singer. I said, "Yes." He put down his instrument and picked me up in a great big hug, he was so moved by my voice.
I am so fortunate so share God's gift so often in my life. It brings me joy and humbles me each time that there is something greater than me to share. Go share your gifts today.
Peace and love,
Teresa
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Hello all,
Ok. I spoke too soon about the gluten-free diet. I have been going along with what little information I have for getting started and have tried some great recipes and gluten-free mixes (Betty Crocker Gluten-free Brownies are the best!) The cookies were not so great. Very crumby!
I think everything is going well and then I get a text from mom last night while I am helping out at St. Michael cheerleading practice.
"I fixed sirloin burger soup for Grandpa and I for lunch. Katie was using his end of the table so I set his bowl at Sam's place. Gpa was working on the computer. Sam thought it was for him and he ate it. Really liked it so not sure how much stew he will eat for supper. So good to see him happy and hungry. Both doing homework."
There are so many great things about this text. The kids are doing their homework, Sam is hungry and HAPPY and eating, and dad is working on the computer. My dad has been recently diagnosed with COPD and has not felt well for about three months. It is good to see him doing normal activity. However, I instantly realize that the soup mom had made probably was not gluten-free! Sam had already had some stomach issues this weekend after eating out with friends where I suspect the French fries were not cooked in a dedicated fryer separate from the breaded chicken. I had packed him a lunch but he thought Chik-fil-a would be ok. I need to teach him to ask the important questions when eating out about cross contamination.
I was concerned that after eating this soup that he would feel bad. I called mom right away and had her read the label. Sure enough, it contains wheat products. I asked her not to tell him so he would not have a psychosomatic reaction if he knew the food had gluten in it. I watched him when I got home and sure enough, he could not focus on his homework. He was drumming, humming and staring off into space for about an hour. He never had a stomach ache and I kept feeding him other food. Sam was also very grumpy this morning when I woke him up and did not want to go to school today. He said, "I want to take a nap the minute I get home today!"
The gluten obviously affects Sam and I need to be a better teacher for him to advocate for himself. He needs to ask before he eats anything, even at home. I wanted to have a complete gluten-free home and I realize this may not be reality for a while.
I know others struggle with bigger issues, but this one threw me for a loop last night. I feel like I am trying to do the right thing and then I get blindsided and have to start at square one again. I pray for patience and strength to get through this phase. Another friend told me it would take about six months to completely get comfortable with the gluten-free lifestyle change. I believe it now!
Have a blessed day and appreciate the bounty of the food we do eat to nourish our minds and bodies.
Love,
Teresa
Ok. I spoke too soon about the gluten-free diet. I have been going along with what little information I have for getting started and have tried some great recipes and gluten-free mixes (Betty Crocker Gluten-free Brownies are the best!) The cookies were not so great. Very crumby!
I think everything is going well and then I get a text from mom last night while I am helping out at St. Michael cheerleading practice.
"I fixed sirloin burger soup for Grandpa and I for lunch. Katie was using his end of the table so I set his bowl at Sam's place. Gpa was working on the computer. Sam thought it was for him and he ate it. Really liked it so not sure how much stew he will eat for supper. So good to see him happy and hungry. Both doing homework."
There are so many great things about this text. The kids are doing their homework, Sam is hungry and HAPPY and eating, and dad is working on the computer. My dad has been recently diagnosed with COPD and has not felt well for about three months. It is good to see him doing normal activity. However, I instantly realize that the soup mom had made probably was not gluten-free! Sam had already had some stomach issues this weekend after eating out with friends where I suspect the French fries were not cooked in a dedicated fryer separate from the breaded chicken. I had packed him a lunch but he thought Chik-fil-a would be ok. I need to teach him to ask the important questions when eating out about cross contamination.
I was concerned that after eating this soup that he would feel bad. I called mom right away and had her read the label. Sure enough, it contains wheat products. I asked her not to tell him so he would not have a psychosomatic reaction if he knew the food had gluten in it. I watched him when I got home and sure enough, he could not focus on his homework. He was drumming, humming and staring off into space for about an hour. He never had a stomach ache and I kept feeding him other food. Sam was also very grumpy this morning when I woke him up and did not want to go to school today. He said, "I want to take a nap the minute I get home today!"
The gluten obviously affects Sam and I need to be a better teacher for him to advocate for himself. He needs to ask before he eats anything, even at home. I wanted to have a complete gluten-free home and I realize this may not be reality for a while.
I know others struggle with bigger issues, but this one threw me for a loop last night. I feel like I am trying to do the right thing and then I get blindsided and have to start at square one again. I pray for patience and strength to get through this phase. Another friend told me it would take about six months to completely get comfortable with the gluten-free lifestyle change. I believe it now!
Have a blessed day and appreciate the bounty of the food we do eat to nourish our minds and bodies.
Love,
Teresa
Monday, November 11, 2013
Hello all,
On this Veteran's Day 2013, I thank all active, retired and deceased veterans for their service to our country so that we may have the freedoms enjoyed by all.
I have finally felt more at peace the last few days due to many things going on in our lives. I have the financial stability to pursue Cardinal Gibbons High School as an option for Emma and Sam and Katie. This was the path that Peter and I had planned for our family, however, there have been questions the past few years whether this would be possible. We have looked at other high school options, but my gut says Cardinal Gibbons is the best place for my children and for me. It is a community I know I can count on for support no matter what happens.
I am also finding the change to a gluten-free diet has not been as difficult as I had anticipated. I do spend twice as much time in cooking and prepping, but it helps that mom and dad are on board and helping to find the great items that can replace foods we enjoyed that are gluten-free. The cost is much higher, but for the overall health of Sam and Emma it is worth it.
Emma's heart condition was diagnosed as Second Degree Heart Block. There are no physical restrictions for her. The cardiologist has told me that the issue is benign but that she will have to be monitored every six months going forward. I am not completely at ease with this situation because of what she could face in the future. Mother's intuition? I cannot completely breathe a sigh of relief on this one yet.
I am feeling strong in my pursuit of writing and publishing my story and am close to completing the manuscript. Please pray I will find the right words to inspire others who may be going through their own grief journey.
Have faith.
Love,
Teresa
On this Veteran's Day 2013, I thank all active, retired and deceased veterans for their service to our country so that we may have the freedoms enjoyed by all.
I have finally felt more at peace the last few days due to many things going on in our lives. I have the financial stability to pursue Cardinal Gibbons High School as an option for Emma and Sam and Katie. This was the path that Peter and I had planned for our family, however, there have been questions the past few years whether this would be possible. We have looked at other high school options, but my gut says Cardinal Gibbons is the best place for my children and for me. It is a community I know I can count on for support no matter what happens.
I am also finding the change to a gluten-free diet has not been as difficult as I had anticipated. I do spend twice as much time in cooking and prepping, but it helps that mom and dad are on board and helping to find the great items that can replace foods we enjoyed that are gluten-free. The cost is much higher, but for the overall health of Sam and Emma it is worth it.
Emma's heart condition was diagnosed as Second Degree Heart Block. There are no physical restrictions for her. The cardiologist has told me that the issue is benign but that she will have to be monitored every six months going forward. I am not completely at ease with this situation because of what she could face in the future. Mother's intuition? I cannot completely breathe a sigh of relief on this one yet.
I am feeling strong in my pursuit of writing and publishing my story and am close to completing the manuscript. Please pray I will find the right words to inspire others who may be going through their own grief journey.
Have faith.
Love,
Teresa
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Disconnect
I recently stopped at Peter's stone, I touched it and instantly heard the word "disconnect". It was not a negative feeling that came over me but one that I felt at peace and willing to be open to what that would mean.
The image that came to mind was of a parachute. When you are up in the plane and ready to jump, that parachute is on your back ready for you to pull the cord as soon as you jump. The parachute is your necessity to land safely on the ground and you need it or you will die. Once you land, that parachute becomes a burden and all you want to do is "disconnect" from those straps and be free.
I know Peter was sending me the message that I have come to a place in my grief journey where I no longer need to lean on him so much to make my way. I am free to continue this life with a beautiful memory of our time together.
The image that came to mind was of a parachute. When you are up in the plane and ready to jump, that parachute is on your back ready for you to pull the cord as soon as you jump. The parachute is your necessity to land safely on the ground and you need it or you will die. Once you land, that parachute becomes a burden and all you want to do is "disconnect" from those straps and be free.
I know Peter was sending me the message that I have come to a place in my grief journey where I no longer need to lean on him so much to make my way. I am free to continue this life with a beautiful memory of our time together.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)